Essays in Idleness

Sidetrackedery, n.: the weird, interesting, and/or fun stuff I find via my ever-behindness in my LJ flist, from Twitter, emails, going back through friends' LJs, and elsewhere.

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:: By Maureen Dowd at the New York Times, Now, Sarah's Folly
:: From Daily Kos, Saturday hate mail-apalooza 'Cause stupid people are funny. :P
:: From BBC News, Q&A: Crisis in Honduras A very clear explanation of what's going on.
:: From a_tergo_lupi, Slouching toward a Palestinian Holocaust by Richard Falk
:: From military.com, Missing GI Reportedly Sold to Militant Clan Holy shit.
:: From atheism, Most religious groups in USA have lost ground, survey finds (from usatoday.com) XDDD
:: This, from metaquotes, bears repeating. Many, many times.
:: The lovely picture in this entry by alivemagdolene. I need this book, like, yesterday. Is so lovely.
:: Pleasures of Paradox. An awesome art site, found via getyourwordsout. WARNING: AUTOMATIC AUDIO
:: From this metaquotes post:

"working to deny Christians the right to live by their own moral code;"

I don't see why everyone here is so up in arms over this bit. The Christian Moral Code is very cut and dry: eat your vegetables, go to church twice a week, don't masturbate, and if any of those Evil Homosexuals move into your neighborhood and start driving the property values down, it's your responsibility to say "Hey, you know, your presence is keeping us from living by our moral code. We're gonna have to ask you to take your gay agenda elsewhere." And if they refuse, well, you have the right, as upstanding American Citizens And Good Christians, to take matters into your own hands, and maybe manipulate the legal system a little bit (in the name of the LORD!). Because it's Your Religious Freedom at stake! These people are imposing on your human rights! You have the right, as an American citizen, to live in an environment where you are free to practice your religion as you please, and if you're a Good Christian, you know that means that you don't have to tolerate all that crap about "tolerance" fed to you by the Liberal Media Elite! Because let's get right down to it, ya know, all that stuff about loving thy neighbor and letting he among us without sin being the first to condemn... we haven't really subscribed to that since, like, the golden age of Barry Goldwater.


This has been a message from the Chris-tee-an Church of Ammericuh. Deleting this comment would be a form of censorship.

:: Another good one from metaquotes.
:: COOOOOOL. From forward.com, via rahmbamarama
:: Found by Google search, Spending Bill includes more for Ft. Wainwright
:: The Silent Minority: The Non-Religious (from HuffPo via antitheism)
:: Another gem from metaquotes. :D

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And it was the ninth. In a "J" month. Coincidence? Yep.

I haven't been doing the posting every day for my Lofty Goals thingy for awhile, but I'd been in the habit anyway, and... missing yesterday hasn't kicked my neuroses in the knees like I thought it would. I was tempted to not post today either just to show just how okay with it I was.

But, I guess I'll post about yesterday since it happened and I did stuff.

I woke up with back pain and a bummed-out mood and unhappy thoughts. So I went out and put gas in the car and went around my "going for a drive" route three times (first time I'd gone more than twice) and let those thoughts fester, then I went to Fred Meyer for groceries I forgot on my last trip (mostly meats), and I got a pack of Reese's Miniatures, and I've set myself a limit of four a day. Then I went home and delved more into season four of Stargate Atlantis and chatted with Pam (or was that the day before? my memory sucks these days, either way, was a good chat), and later Fizzy, who cheered me up (along with the SGA cast and the Barmy Army, that last courtesy of Fizzy, of course ^___^).

Then I went off to the Reids' with stuff from cleaning out my cupboards (I got rid of all the stuff I should not be eating; I'm getting serious about eating better) and season five of SGA, and just like snarking the fourth season with Fizzy, snarking the fifth season with the Reids was a laugh riot. Seriously, some shows should just not be seen alone. Though I did insist on having the closed captioning on, in case the conversation in the room got too loud. I remember what happened the last time I tried to watch a show I wanted to see and hadn't seen with them. And sure enough, those words at the bottom of the screen came in handy!

We got through two discs (of five) and I'll be heading there later this evening to watch most or all of the rest of it. :)

And today? Only got up a few hours ago, but aside from some minor back pain, it's going pretty well. Took a shower, has a cleeeeean, and it's nice and cool and breezy out (my "air conditioning" during the summer = outside air coming in my windows) so I still feel clean and not all clammy and yucky like the past few days when it was in the upper 80's (yeah, in Alaska, while it was in the upper 70's back home in Florida).

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IT WAS AWESOME. AND I GOT SOAKED. AND I STOMPED IN PUDDLES.

Then it started to just drizzle so I went home and washed my feet in the sink and changed clothes.

SO SO NICE to be able to play in the rain without it being so cold I'd getting the flu! First time that's happened since I GOT to Alaska.

ZOMFSM I'm homesick.

Barefoot Children

Scratch my back with a lightning bolt
Thunder rolls like a bass drum note
The sound of the weather is heaven's ragtime band
We all fell down from the milky way
Hangin' round here till judgment day
Heaven only knows who's in command

Barefoot children in the rain
Got no need to explain
We'd be swingin' on a ball and chain
It's always understood by those who play the game
Barefoot children in the rain

Show me yours and I'll show you mine
Take me back to days full of monkeyshines
Bouncin' on a bubble full of trouble in the summer sun
Keep your raft from the riverboat
Fiction over fact always has my vote
And wrinkles only go where the smiles have been

Barefoot children in the rain
Got no need to explain
We'd be swingin' on a ball and chain
It's always understood by those who play the game
Barefoot children in the rain
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la
Barefoot children in the rain

Scratch my back with a lightning bolt
Thunder rolls like a bass drum note
The sound of the weather is heaven's ragtime band
The sky turns blue and the sun appears
But the question's still what are we doin' here
I don't think the answer's close at hand

Barefoot children in the rain
Got no need to explain
We'd be swingin' on a ball and chain
It's always understood by those who play the game
Barefoot children in the rain
In the rain...
In the rain...

--Jimmy Buffett, Barometer Soup
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Too much fun to pass up:

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name): Diane Carl
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad & father's dad): Jennings Leonard
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Mcche
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Dolphin
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Lucille Hattiesburg
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Green Bailey's
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): HeMc
8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Rocky Road Chocolate Chip
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name): None 600th
10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy): Vanilla Fields York Peppermint Patties

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I went and used the first picture for each keyword, so this'll look kinda weird.

DIRECTIONS:
- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- Save/post the image

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

( image behind the cut )

By the way, my answers were:

1. Heather
2. Kielbossa
3. Titusville, Florida
4. Blue
5. Star Trek IV
6. Bailey's Irish Cream
7. Melbourne, Australia (for obvious reasons. A year ago, it would have been backpacking through Europe.)
8. Brownies
9. Nutty
10. Anxious
11. Books (because when I did the GIS for "Chris and Fizzy" I got this. o.O)
12. Research Librarian

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Sidetrackedery, n.: the weird, interesting, and/or fun stuff I find via my ever-behindness in my LJ flist, from Twitter, emails, going back through friends' LJs, and elsewhere.

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:: From the Huffington Post, Palin Facebook Message Slams Media, References "Higher Calling"
:: From the Huffington Post, Murkowski Blasts Palin: You Abandoned Our State
:: From cnn.com, USO: It's not your father's entertainment anymore
:: From feministe.us, Thoughts on disability and respectful language, by way of this entry from .
:: RIGHT ON, QSCRIBE! From Pam's House Blend, Christians and "Civility
:: From this awesomeness from metaquotes:

I'm also going to take the time to state that if I get an Ipod Touch and they update the shit in September with a camera, sparkles, an easy bake oven, glitter, the power to circumcise, a tattoo gun, sunblock/lube dispenser, UV teeth whitener, taser, waffle iron, froyo dispenser, a tiny little gay man to criticize my outfits, and the ordained powers that be to marry anyone or anything, or any other cool shit, I'm going to be PISSED.

:: From driftingfocus, A purrfect place for fanciers of felines: A kitten cafe! :D
:: From fizzylizard via Gtalk, Comic cultures combine as Islam meets Superman (from theage.com.au)
:: From @msnbc, Tax appeals slam local governments Yikes!
:: From the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, Tell Speaker Pelosi: It's Time to Repeal DADT Please sign and pass on!

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Tags: animals, country: australia, disability, lj comm: metaquotes, military, politician: sarah palin, politics, state: alaska, teh ghey

So prepare for comment spam on entries from March and April and, ideally, May!

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Pardon my whinging, but I'm going to go on about my issues again...

It'll also be the day Chris goes back to Iraq, but I'm trying not to think about that right now.

Tomorrow I have to suck it up and make my appointments.

Chris and I did go to the hospital to make an appointment, but we were simply given a number to call to make an appointment. Before it, I was a wreck. I was going over my notes, tearing up at random, that sort of thing. I honestly don't know if I'd have gone myself, though I'd like to think I would have.

I'm pretty sure I would have.

Despite this wonderful post and my response to it, I have a hard time identifying as disabled. Not because of any negative connotations--far from it, I don't see anything negative about having different abilities than "normal" people or not being able to do certain things. No, despite the fact that my...condition? mental state? issues?...prevent me from doing certain things (like working out at the gym, making friends offline without a structured setting, becoming a lawyer had I decided to do that, and even simple things that become huge to me like confrontations and standing up for myself), I'm worried about sounding Hoekstra-ish. And that I'm inserting myself into a community that's not mine.

Or maybe it's because my issues include not fitting in anywhere? Not anywhere on this planet, anyway. I've always seen myself as separate from (the rest of) humanity.

And talking about it, if I do get an appointment, and one of the results is that I'm sent to counseling, could be a problem. I'm so used to ignoring it, hiding it, coping in inconvenient and inadequate ways. Convincing myself that I'm just stupid, just lazy, that I'm not allowed to be happy.

If I can't get an appointment, I'm out of luck. If I can get an appointment but they won't do any tests, I'm out of luck. My only other option would be seeking help off-post, and without a Tricare referral, that would mean paying for the tests out of pocket. (I wonder if Tricare would reimburse me if I did have to go off-post, had the tests done, and they found out that I did need such-and-such treatment?)

Anyhow, I guess I'll get to the start of that tomorrow. After I take Chris to the airport.

Tomorrow is not going to be a good day.

(Why am I online now, if today's Chris's last full day of R&R? Because he's asleep. Otherwise we'd be playing Dynasty Warriors Gundam or watching Stargate Atlantis together.)

Edit: This (especially the first aside), via this, has helped a lot just now. Still iffy on whether I fit in or not, though.

Further edit: Um, let me try this again. My problem is that I don't feel I deserve to be a part of the disabled community, since a good chunk of the time I can save my tears and/or exhaustion until I get to my car/get home and can let whatever needs out, out. And this is something I've always dealt with, especially in school--basically, I mostly had some good acquaintances and a few good friends, and each from a different high school demographic, each of which I could hang out with peripherally but not be a real part of. I wasn't enough of an actor to fit in with the drama club kids, I haven't sang in chorus since fourth grade and have never played an instrument so I didn't fit in with the music crowd, I wasn't gifted enough to hang out with the other GSP kids because while I was great in English and History, I was (and still am) remarkably math-stupid, I didn't obsess over anime, nor could I/my family afford to go to Orlando and buy anime, so I didn't really fit in with the anime geeks... hell, take my current situation. I AM MARRIED TO A SOLDIER and I don't feel I fit in on post (well, that also has to do with politics, religion, and sexuality, but those are/could be separate issues). I mostly shop off-post because there's more and better selection, but also because I feel awkward shopping at the PX/commissary. (On the other hand, I feel awkward shopping anywhere, but that's because I feel like I'm not really an adult, but that's such a common feeling among people my age--I'm 25--that I don't worry about that. The feeling awkward because I don't fit in with [the rest of] humanity, well, that'll take work, which I'm willing to do.)

Um, holy wall of text, Batman.

tl;dr Just more emo whinging about the mess between my ears.

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Sidetrackedery, n.: the weird, interesting, and/or fun stuff I find via my ever-behindness in my LJ flist, from Twitter, emails, going back through friends' LJs, and elsewhere.

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:: This gem from metaquotes:

…There's a miniature Gandalf on your phone line before it enters your house, and he's screaming at your DSL signal 'You shall not pass!' and we have to send a technician out there to remove your Gandalf.

:: This is embarrassing, with a dash of hope. (from newscientist.com)
:: FUCK YEAH RACHEL MADDOW ON LINKTV. Blueprint for Accountability: Working the Dark Side (from linktv.org)
:: Found this here:

There was a young lass from Madras,
Who had a remarkable ass:
     Not rounded and pink,
     As Americans think --
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

:: Excellent article on Canada Day. Short bits from Canadians living in the US. (from nytimes.com) I like this:

I miss the pride and simplicity of a national literature, which probably wouldn’t exist without government support. We even have a name, CanLit, that people use without fearing they’ll sound like nerds. In America we tend toward novels published specifically for one narrowly interpreted demographic. CanLit is an unassuming place, very welcoming to immigrant writers, and since it doesn’t dice up readership according to profile there is a national conversation about literature, like a big book club.

And this:

I miss the snow. Yes, I know the United States gets snow, but to my Canadian eye, American snow is like American health care: sporadic, unreliable and distributed unevenly among the population.

:: COOOOOL. NASA - ASTER Imagery
:: Heehee. From the Huffington Post, God is my Doorman: Mark Sanford for Non-Christians.

American Evangelicals love Revelation, because it doesn't make a lick of sense and then everything explodes.

:: From cnn.com, Two US troops killed in Afghanistan
:: From cnn.com, Sailor gunned do wn on sentry duty
:: From cnn.com, Biden presides as troops in Iraq become U.S. citizens

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I took him along my usual route. He kept going for the shorter way and I kept nudging him back to my route. When he realized that my route was meant to be long, and that it usually takes an hour to walk it (at my pace, anyway--he also had to shorten his stride to match my speed), he was annoyed. Only half-snarkily, he said, "This is seriously cutting into my slacking time!"

:P

I like the walking. It feels good, though this time my feet hurt a little by the time we got home. And what that tells me is that I shouldn't slack off on the walking when Chris is home, and I shouldn't eat fast food two meals a day just because Chris is.

I swear, I've had more fast food in the past two weeks than I had in the past six months. And ya know what? It was too much. As much as I like it on the one hand, I realized just how much I hadn't missed it, because I was enjoying being able to button my jeans while standing up even more.

Monday, I'll call the number the people at the hospital gave me. Even if it's not my thyroid, I want to get everything taken care of. I want to get healthy, mentally and physically, I want to lose weight. I want my boobs to shrink, so I can jog. Maybe even run, maybe even cross-country. I would so love that. I dream about running.

Anyhow, HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to all my American friends here! Thanks to the Reids, my only local friends (until Sumner, Richardson, et al get home in the fall) are good cooks, I can has Fourth of July barbecue! :D

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Sidetrackedery, n.: the weird, interesting, and/or fun stuff I find via my ever-behindness in my LJ flist, from Twitter, emails, going back through friends' LJs, and elsewhere.

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:: COOOL! From Fizzy via Gtalk, Yarra's unusual visitors cause a stir (from theage.com.au)
:: This would be awesome. The goal: make solar more accessible (from heraldtribune.com)
:: And this is why we need a public option, like, YESTERDAY: 'Pre-existing' hits hard (from heraldtribune.com)
:: A happy story to warm the cold heart: Army veteran and her children ready to start over (from heraldtribune.com)
:: UGH and UGH. That is all.
:: From @zev4 Some veterans of recent wars find homelessness at home (from latimes.com)
:: THIS ONTD_POLITICAL COMMENT THREAD.
:: From @sarking, Chai's Big Bite Cocktail :D
:: From military.com, How to Lay Old Glory to Rest
:: From another link from someone on Twitter, Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by Creation Museum (Fizzy, we should go there during the Epic Road Trip! It'd be Epic lulz. :D)
:: Well said, Tom! Meanwhile, back at the war... (from ac360.blogs.cnn.com)
:: From @Scoop44, Obama Urges Congress to Repeal DOMA

Obama said he wouldn’t tell gay rights activists to “be patient” for progress, but he did ask them to judge him by the promises that his administration keeps.

In other words, we’ll have to wait and see.

:: From @PaulReikhoff, Marine Finds Unlikely Reinforcements Online: Nerds :)
:: What the fuck? From military.com, INS Plans to Deport Wife of GI in Iraq
:: Neato! From cnn.com, Fourth of July goes global

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I hope it comes back, but I don't know if it will.

There was something else I was gonna write about but I can't think of what it is.

Fizzy's off on a four-day winter sports weekend, and even though it's four days I miss her already. You'd think that having been through most of a deployment, I'd be able to handle separation better.

Heh heh, nope. At least during these days I don't have to miss her and Chris at the same time. Chris is home, here, sleeping. He's so cute when he sleeps.

I am so nebulously grateful in a totally atheistic way for both of them. I has a smitten. :D

Um, what else?

I'm sick of all the Michael Jackson in the news. Yeah, he was a brilliant man with a tortured soul, but he's still gonna be dead tomorrow. There are other things going on in the news!

I think Gov. Sanford's a dumbass to keep spilling the beans on stuff he hasn't even been asked about (well, not that I know of; I've purposely not paid much attention to the whole thing. I do feel sorry for him, and for his family, for different reasons.

I really hope that a sensible health care bill passes. I used to be rabidly in favor of a single-payer system, but after much research, both reading online and talking to Fizzy, who's had universal health care her whole life, and I think a public option that's available to everyone as a right of citizenship, with private plans available for people for whom a waiting list isn't feasible. Fizzy said that health insurance plans in Australia--and they're mostly for people who need constant care, like cancer patients--are only like $30 a month. And $20 a month in insurance covers ambulance rides for a whole family. I hope that when Obama "brings everyone to the table," that he includes experts from countries that already have universal health care, to see what works and what doesn't. So, yeah, I favor that system.

And that wasn't what I meant to post either, but I'm getting fuzzy-headed, and my back is hurting. Just, o hai, have some opinions. That's what LiveJournal's for, right? :P

I finally got out of bed, unable to sleep anymore, sometime after six a.m., and I went to bed sometime after midnight. I figured I'd be exhausted by ten. Well, it's 11:22, so I lasted an hour longer than I thought I would.

Not that I'll get to sleep much now. Later Chris and I are going to the Reids' to help them stain their deck so it's ready for Saturday.

Well, good...morning...night...naptime. :)

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This is all from yesterday, of course. :)

Wasn't too exhausted, but went to bed a little after midnight so I could actually sleep with Chris, since our sleep schedules are different. Oddly, I only slept a few hours, and got up feeling rested for once. Then I did a load of dishes and a load of laundry and was exhausted again, and I'd been up maybe three hours.

This is getting ridiculous.

We did go to the hospital (I can has bravery?) and saw Reid and Karen first thing. Karen was in a lot of pain, even in a wheelchair because she couldn't hardly move. Long story short, she got a dumb-ass doctor who either didn't know, or didn't care, or both, to ascertain exactly what she needed and then prescribe it. After a very long wait to talk to a nurse, we all then went to the Patient Advocate office and Chris and I waited in the waiting area while Karen and Reid talked to the Patient Advocate.

At some point, Chris and I stopped by the family practice area and asked about being seen for thyroid stuff, and I was given a number to call to get an appointment. I'll call that number later today, after I've slept.

As we were all leaving, Reid suggested that we hang out at his place, that if we paid for the food he'd cook it and we'd all have a nice dinner. Friends helping friends, yo. So Chris and I stopped by the house for a bit and then headed on to the Reids'. I tried to nap in my chair while Karen was talking to the PA, but I was still tired, but this was hanging out with my only local friends while Chris was home for R&R, so, to the Reids' it was.

And just as at the hospital when Reid asked me to stay with Karen while he and Chris talked, once we got there, Reid took Chris with him to formation and then to grocery shopping while I was left at the house with Karen, which is not the usual situation. I mean, the usual situation, since I made friends with the Reids the day Chris deployed, means that Chris wouldn't be there, but usually I was the one who tagged along with Reid if he was gonna go somewhere or even go outside and smoke. I was "one of the guys" pretty much, and I like it that way. And then stay with Karen. Not that I have anything against Karen, but we're more acquaintances than friends. We have very little in common. And I resented being relegated to being just another spouse.

Besides, Karen was on the phone the whole time they were gone (and it was a looong time), and I tried to nap on the chair in her living room (the dogs were all over the other couch), and that didn't work. Was killing my back. So I asked if I could lay down on her bed, just on top of the covers. She didn't mind, so I did. I lay on my stomach and tried to rest, and I might have dozed a bit, but the room was freezing and my back was killing me. So when Chris and Reid got back (and also with Cynthia's in-laws, Justin's parents, in tow, since Cynthia gave birth a week ago to little Sophia, and the in-laws were there to see their new grandbaby), I was groggy, still tired, and my back hurt. And every loud noise hurt my head. But it was still a good evening, with good food (really good food), and dessert (and I didn't finish either, go me!), and we watched Tropic Thunder after the in-laws left, and then, finally but after a good night, we went home.

And now Fizzy is online, making the good day trifecta: Chris, the Reids, and Fizzy. :D

Had a short chat, but is bedtime for me, as I'm fucking exhausted and my back is killing me, and my tolerance for back pain is pretty good. I'll call that number when I get up.

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Stop being bastards to each other.

Sincerely,

the Heathers

(Text by fizzylizard/vasco_pyjama, heartily endorsed by both of us)

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Sidetrackedery, n.: the weird, interesting, and/or fun stuff I find via my ever-behindness in my LJ flist, from Twitter, emails, going back through friends' LJs, and elsewhere.

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:: This is fucking awesome: She finally has a home: Harvard
:: FUCK YEAH TAMMY BALDWIN. Baldwin Pitches Gay Health Care Bill
:: COOOOOOL. (from a_tergo_lupi who found it at boston.com)
:: A great cause! Who Else Wants to Change a Child's Life? (from darrenrowse.com)
:: This and this are making my blood boil. Not the text of the second post, but the horror stories of the American "health care system" on both that just make my blood boil.
:: DO WANT. From saucydwellings, Giant World Map, Earth-toned
:: Neato. From gayrights.change.org, Of Gay Penguins and Lesbian Fruit Flies
:: Huh. From homelessness.change.org, A Bad Alternative to Panhandling
:: From humantrafficking.change.org, Is Hershey's secret Ingredient Child Slavery? Important to know.
:: From @zev4, Rising toll at US military hospital in Afghanistan
:: From @zev4, Vets Under Siege: How America Deceives and Dishonors Those Who Fight Our Battles Not good for one's blood pressure.
:: From skywaterblue, Pink dolphin appears in US lake
:: Also from skywaterblue, Bush Adm. Weighed Restricting 1st Amendment *fumes*
:: And another from skywaterblue, Kepler Spacecraft Will Search Cosmos for Earth-Like Planets Cooooooool! :D
:: Well done, Barry! From eh_notsomuch, Obama Suspends Bush Rule on Endangered Species :D
:: I have this fear too, every time I hear the doorbell. (A mil_wives post, locked)
:: From eh_notsomuch, Obama Vs. The Washington Estabishment
:: From @sarking, Jackson dies, almost takes Internet with him I didn't even read the article. The title is just pure win.
:: Also from @sarking, CNN bit on media reading of lovey-dovey emails
:: LAWL. Morning Joe crew cracks up over "Pearl Necklace" Okay, that totally rofled my copter. :D

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